I'm so delighted to have Ruthie Knox back on the blog today, talking about something that I think will relate to all of us who write on the spicier side of the fence.
But before I hand over to Ruthie, I'm over at Everybody Needs A Little Romance on the 10th (US time), and I'd love some comment love - hint hint!
Oh, You Scandalous Woman!
or, How I Got over My Sex-Scene-Writing Embarrassment
I recently had an
appointment for my annual lady-parts checkup, and when my (female) gynecologist
unfolded the stirrups and asked me to scoot my butt down to the edge of the
table, I said, “Oh, I have something interesting we can talk about for this
part! I’ve been writing romance novels. They’re really sexy.”
And somewhere in rural
Ohio, the Ruthie Knox of twenty years ago keeled over and DIED.
You see, when I was a
teenager, my mother was a practicing midwife. There was a pelvic model on our
dining-room table. There was, at one time, somebody’s placenta in our
refrigerator. My mom had long, involved telephone conversations with strange
women about mucous—the private kind
of mucous. And I Would Not Talk about Sex. Not with my mother, not with my
friends, not with anybody, anywhere, ever.
I did, however, read a
lot of sexy romance novels. I liked to think
about sex. I certainly assumed I would some day be having sex. It was just the whole conversation thing. The whole
being-at-ease-with-the-fact-that-actual-human-people-have-sex thing. I couldn’t
handle it.
I don’t have a dramatic
story about how all of that changed. I just grew up, I guess, in the usual way
that people do. I went to a liberal college and got more comfortable with my
inborn feminism, et cetera, and so on. If one wants to have sex, one needs to be able to talk about it. Particularly if
one wants to have good sex. So I
fumbled my way through the awkwardness and got over it.
But when I started
writing romance, there was another level of discomfort to get past—a sort of
knee-jerk siren in my head that screamed SEX! SEX! YOU’RE WRITING ABOUT SEX!
EVERYONE WILL READ IT AND THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE THEY’RE READING IT AND THEY’LL
KNOW YOU HAVE SEX AND THEY’LL WONDER IF IT’S ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND OMIGAAAAAHD!
I’m pretty sure every
romance writer has this siren, although volume levels may vary.
Mine was remarkably easy
to switch off—all it took was one person. In the early months after I started
writing, a friend of mine said she’d love to read the manuscript that turned
out to be Ride with Me. I was
thrilled, but also extremely nervous. “There’s sex in it!” I told her. And this
friend—a wonderfully blunt woman—asked me, “You do know I’ve had sex, right? I’ve even read books with sex in them. I think I can
handle it.”
So I took a deep breath
and sent her the file. And then later I sent it to my parents. And after that I
let my husband read it. And several of my friends.
And it was fine.
Getting comfortable with
being someone who writes sex scenes for public consumption is a multistage
process, but so is getting comfortable with sexuality generally, as a human
woman. We get so many mixed messages about our bodies and what we’re supposed
to do with them, what we’re supposed to want
to do with them, what we should want other people to think about them/us—it’s
tricky business, with a large Sidecar of Shame that threatens to slam into us
if we navigate it wrong.
But it’s only fictional
sex, you know? It’s not like I’m killing puppies. So when I heard recently that
a few of my relatives by marriage who I don’t know particularly well have
preordered Ride with Me, I gulped,
and then I let it go. I hope they like it! Since these relatives all have
children, I’m going to go ahead and assume they’ve had sex. They can probably
handle my smutty, romantic, monogamous novelized version. Maybe they’ll even
like it! Maybe my fictional sex will make the real, live lady parts of these
real, live women feel happy.
Omigod.
But also, yay!
As for my gynecologist, I
left her with my website address and a promise that I’ll still come back for my
annual when I’m glamorous and famous. If she’s lucky, I’ll autograph her
stirrups.
In this fun, scorching-hot eBook original romance by Ruthie
Knox, a cross-country bike adventure takes a detour into unexplored passion. As
readers will discover, Ride with Me is not about the bike!
When Lexie Marshall
places an ad for a cycling companion, she hopes to find someone friendly and
fun to cross the TransAmerica Trail with. Instead, she gets Tom Geiger — a
lean, sexy loner whose bad attitude threatens to spoil the adventure she’s
spent years planning.
Roped into the cycling
equivalent of a blind date by his sister, Tom doesn’t want to ride with a
chatty, go-by-the-map kind of woman, and he certainly doesn’t want to want her.
Too bad the sight of Lexie with a bike between her thighs really turns his
crank.
Even Tom’s stubborn
determination to keep Lexie at a distance can’t stop a kiss from leading to
endless nights of hotter-than-hot sex. But when the wild ride ends, where will
they go next?
BIO
Ruthie Knox
figured out how to walk and read at the same time in the second grade, and she
hasn’t looked up since. She spent her formative years hiding romance novels in
her bedroom closet to avoid the merciless teasing of her brothers and imagining
scenarios in which someone who looked remarkably like Daniel Day Lewis
recognized her well-hidden sex appeal and rescued her from middle-class
Midwestern obscurity. After graduating from Grinnell College with an English
and history double major, she earned a Ph.D. in modern British history that
she’s put to remarkably little use.
These days, she
writes contemporary romance in which witty, down-to- earth characters find each
other irresistible in their pajamas, though she freely admits this has yet to
happen to her. Perhaps she needs more exciting pajamas. Ruthie abhors an
epilogue and insists a decent romance requires at least three good sex scenes.
GIVEAWAY
One lucky
commenter will be randomly chosen to win a digital copy of Ride with Me. Good luck to all! To win, all you have to do is let us know what you do shamelessly today that would mortify or disappoint the high school version of yourself!?
Rachael's answer - I eat Avocado!! Okay, so it's not very exciting but I despised the stuff then and now I actually quite ADORE it!!
12 comments:
I was surprised by how well friends and family reacted when I broke the "I wrote a book and it has sex in it" news. My favorite response was my sister's - "I love sex! I just had sex this morning!"
Good luck with the release. It sounds great.
Haha Eleri - I LOVE your sister's comment!!
When my elderly mother read my recently released book she whispered to my sister "where did she learn all that sex stuff?" I certainly wasn't about to tell her :)Great post.
LOL! Ah, the wit :) That'll keep me laughing for the rest of the day. Great post!
"But it’s only fictional sex, you know? It’s not like I’m killing puppies."
Yay! Can I borrow that comeback for my less-than-understanding relatives??? Unfortunately I have a few of those. But that doesn't stop me from lettin' it rip in my books :)
Great post!!
Great post, ladies!
I was waaaaay more shameless in high school than I am now. But I do put the trash out in my pajamas these days. My high school self would have died first.
Ruthie, I had no idea your mom was a midwife--did I ever tell you I did a looong profile of a nurse midwife/home birth proponent about a year ago? Such a fun article to research. I have this vague idea for a midwife heroine somewhere in the back of my head as a result, but haven't yet made it turn into anything.
A woman who'd read one of my books looked me up and down and said witheringly 'Clearly you're obsessed...'
I don't have any problem writing sex scenes - but when I decided to produce audio versions of my books - I couldn't read the words aloud without collapsing into giggles. I was completely defeated by 'nipples'! Fortunately I have a good friend with a great voice who was able to do it for me.
Yes, Ruthie, it seems like you REALLY got over writing that 'sex-scene embarrassment', questioning whether you really had that, ahem - just teasing!!
Your stories are so romantic that the hot, steamy is just a compliment to it all -- love your post & RIDE WITH ME - great story!
"SEX! SEX! YOU’RE WRITING ABOUT SEX! EVERYONE WILL READ IT AND THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE THEY’RE READING IT AND THEY’LL KNOW YOU HAVE SEX AND THEY’LL WONDER IF IT’S ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND OMIGAAAAAHD!"
This had me laughing so hard I nearly snotted my coffee! That decibel level seems about right. Thinking that everyone would assume I was writing about my sex life was the hardest part for me. But then I got over it. Cuz, really, if they think that, more power to them. Or to me and my husband. *lol*
P.S. I so appreciated the WI accent in OMGahd. *squishes*
I could never talk to my mom about sex until recently.. But there are somethings I could never discuss!.
Thanks for your kind comments, everybody!
@Eleri -- That's hilarious! Perfect response.
@Helen -- To which you might have replied, "I read about it in a book, Mom!"
@Aimee -- It's all yours!
@Gilly -- that's so funny. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be clamoring to read audiobooks versions of my work. I'm not positive I can say "cock" without busting up in giggles.
@Gina -- "More power to them" -- exactly.
This looks like fun, I love finding new authors, thanks
Post a Comment