Why M&B rejected WWMM - Part 2.

It's been a while between rejection posts but I did promise, so here's the second half of why WWMM didn't make the Modern Heat cut. 

Those of you who read my chapter on iheartpresents will know it begins with my heroine, Libby in the hero's rubbish bin. She's there (literally) digging up dirt on the hero who she needs to write a biography about. 

The editors thought this was a rather desperate way to behave and made Libby appear a tad unlikeable. They believed the external conflict made her appear unsympathetic to readers as she didn't behave like a professional young woman and went on to do terribly devious things in an aim to find the truth out about Matt. She goes behinds his back to get information during the novel and although she doesn't end up using this material, she's still decieved him. The editors believed her obsession to write a good article overruled her love for the hero and in a romance, this is of course, a no-no!

Basically there are things in Libby's character that make her unworthy of a Modern Heat hero and therefore she and the story didn't make the grade.

I guess what I've learnt from this little part of the rejection is that our heroine's really do need to be outstandingly special. They may have a little self doubt, they may have had bad luck in the past, but they need to be morally upstanding and likeable!! 

Why M&B rejected WWMM - Part 1!

Surprise surprise - the first point Lucy Gilmour made about why they rejected The Who's Who of Matt McKinnell was EMOTIONAL CONFLICT, particularly the actions and motivations of Libby, my heroine.

Lucy pointed out that a strong emotional conflict needs developed, investigated and worked through for hero and heroine to finally be together happily ever after. In my story, the conflict was more external than emotional. Her career ambition and drive to write a story about him and he's resolve to not let anyone write anything deep about him, was what was providing the conflict. This wasn't personal enough!

I did actually give these two lovely people personal hassles - Libby has self-esteem issues and thought she couldn't have children and Matt has just found out he is not his father's child, but neither of these issues were developed enough to keep the hero and heroine from a) getting it on and b) staying together.

Apparently Libby's infertility issue is a FABULOUS conflict but I didn't use it to great effect. In the story she became pregnant really easily which kinda lessened the effect. It would have been a lot better also if I'd had her deal with this issue earlier on.

I had three majorly strong potential conflicts - adoption, illegitimacy and infertility but didn't use any of them with any real effect because I didn't link them enough to the developing romance.

Conflict was the major reason for this rejection and it seems to be a frequent reason for rejection. What I've learnt and will hopefully be able to implement in future mss is to DIG DEEP!!! Ask why questions until you're driving yourself insane! Be a three year old - WHY? WHY? BUT WHY? And make sure the conflicts really cause problems for the relationship!

Come back tomorrow (or the next day, depends what kind of kid-day tomorrow turns out to be) and I'll tell you the other reason why they rejected my mss!!

My chapter up on iheartpresents!

Well... apparently it's what you've all been waiting for :)

Sometime today (probably while I sleep due to international time diffs) my chap is going up on iheartpresents!

As I found Jackie's comments following her chapter going up really useful, I've decided to share a bit more about why this story was rejected as well. So... in a few days, once the chapter, synopsis and editorial comments have been posted at iheart, I'll post a little more here about why this story didn't make the cut this time round!!

Enjoy!

My Chapter on iheartpresents...

NOT YET!! Don't get too excited folks. But as you've all shown enthusiasm about reading my runner-upping in the Feel The Heat contest chapter and waited so patiently, thought I'd let you know that I've heard it'll be up before the end of the month!!

ARGH!!

What if you all hate it? 

Thanks, but no thanks!

Woke up to a lovely but not so lovely (iykwim) email from Lucy Gilmour at M&B this morning. The short version is... they've rejected ''The Who's Who of Matt McKinnell.'' 

The good bit is: 

''You certainly have a very lively writing style and have created two great characters in Libby and Matt.  There is much to like about this manuscript, but unfortunately, we do not think this particular manuscript is suitable for publication.  Please do not be too disappointed as we think your voice shows a great deal of potential for our Modern Heat series.''

And she's asked me to submit my next partial directly to her, which means I can high jump the slush pile. 

The bad bit???

EMOTIONAL - BLOODY- CONFLICT (scuse my French)!!!

There's contracts, revisions and rejections floating around the blogs at the moment and the one phrase that is coming up on ALL is Emotional Conflict. Those who've been given contracts have nailed this elusive EC, those of us with revisions or rejections, haven't quite made it. 

Lucy King and Jackie Ashenden are discussing this very issue on their blogs at the moment and they raise some excellent pointsl 

My problem was that I had a strong external conflict and lots of potentially good aspects of emotional conflict (the heroine was adopted and thought she was infertile and the hero had just discovered his father wasn't his real father) but I didn't develop these enough and make them SO BIG it stopped h&H from getting together. Or rather looked as if it could stop them!!

Another interesting issue was that my heroine had elements that M&B thought made her seem unlikeable...what I'd read as ambition, they'd read as ruthless. Interestingly enough, they mentioned something from my first chapter (which you'll hopefully get to read soon) as being one of the things that made the heroine look dodgy!!! 

So where to from here??

I'm currently working on the planning of two different ideas - one set in Hollywood and the other in Edinburgh. As I never actually had the phone consultation I won in the contest, I'm gonna be cheeky and ask if I can prepare two proposals and Lucy tell me which one she'd like me to work on next. Here's hoping she says ''yes.'' 

Then... it'll be back to the writing pad!

Done and Dusted!

I feel just like this kitty! Exhausted but with a smug smile on my face that it's finally over. 

I have finally finished my edit of ''The Who's Who of Matt McKinnell'' with just over a week to go till my self-imposed deadline. M&B requested the full of this mss asking me to take into account the following before revising it for submission:

*Alpha up the hero.

*Deepen the emotional conflicts of both Matt and Libby.

*Make sure Libby has her own internal emotional conflict.

Sounds easy when summarised like that, but I'm agonising over whether or not I've come close to achieving the above. One things for certain, in trying to enhance the conflicts, I've managed to write far more than the word count required for Modern Heat. WWMM comes in at just over 55k, so I'm seriously worried that if they do warrant this mss worthy of revisions, I'll end up writing a book that's too long for them anyway. 

Time to stop worrying and forward the story onto a couple of people who said they'd read not to crit but as if they were reading a real book and let me know if there's any major NO-NOs!! Then... next Friday... I'm pushing send. 

Wish me luck!

Over-using words...

I'm editing. Hopefully I'm on almost the last read through and edit of WWMM before I send it off on its own in cyberspace to M&B. 

And today...? Today I'm not feeling all that confident. Yesterday when I read, I thought it was pretty hot stuff (haha), today I feel every scene has more telling than showing and I'm appalled at some words which I use as often as I think about eating chocolate. Yep, a lot!!

Snapped...

Realisation...

Shrieked...

 

And then there's other words I totally misuse - ''the silence combusted.'' Good God, what was I thinking? 

Oh and there's a question... I have my characters ask a lot of them, to themselves. Isn't talking to oneself the first sign of madness? Are insane characters appealling to readers?

I guess this is why we need to read our work, edit and polish. 

So... go on... tell all! Are there any things you do too much of or words you use a lot? 

Progress Report!

I'm trying to do the read through of WWMM, really, I'm trying but it's not going hugely to plan. Everytime I sit down to read, my baby wakes up - he's seriously got some sort of radar where my writing is concerned. My other problem is sleep - I need lots more of it than I'm getting and so when baby's asleep I'm torn between reading and sleeping.

Suddenly had an epiphany tonight that I should print my mss in book format and bind it, so I can read while breastfeeding. Instead I've been reading loads of other books during these times. Just read a Mod Heat with a particularly Alpha male. At least, I'm guessing that's what they'd call him but I didn't take to him at all. At the same time, I'm wondering how to up the Alpha-aspect of my current hero and hoping that somehow I can make the grade!

Right... I'm rambling... lack of sleep does that to ya. But just thought I'd offer a brief update. Have now read 111 pages out of 150-ish, so am hoping to finish the read through tomorrow. Then, it's slash, burn and add!!!

Currently reading: The Memory Keeper's Daughter (well, behind the times, I know).

MIA!

Hey faithful blog readers - at least I hope there's still someone reading this somewhere! Although most of you are probably off drinking and making merry with your families. Hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a new year filled to the brim with book contracts. I hope the same for myself :)

I've been absent most of December due to the wonderful birth of my beautiful boy on November 25th! He was early and we had a slightly rocky start but all is now perfect with Archie Edward. That's now three gorgeous little heroes for me alongside my big hero, so me and the big hero are calling it quits on the baby-making!

Speaking of baby making HUGE congrats to my lovely writing buddy Bec Sampson on the birth of her latest heroine. What a special Christmas Eve this is turning out to be!!

Other specialness came in the form of an email this morning from Lucy Gilmour - Assistant Editor at M&B, who emailed me her commentary on my mss from the Feel The Heat contest. 

In short she said:

*She loved my opening line and chapter, my unique voice, the heroine and the premise. Main positive - they wanted to read on!!

*They'd like to see the hero developed more and a little more insight into a) why he's attracted to the heroine and b) what his conflicts are!!! Hmm... I've got work to do :)

*With regards to the rest of the mss, they a) wan

t to see the full when I have revised according to b) the alphaness of the hero, c) the emotional conflicts of hero and heroine, which need to be deepened and d) really make clear the heroine's internal conflicts.

So... the plan from here on. Spend the next few days rereading my mss in full and making notes, then get stuck into rewriting on Lucy's suggestions. I'm hoping to submit the full by end of January but am realistic that with a new baby, t

here may be slight delays!!

Speaking of new baby... here's a pic!

Almost there?

If you've been watching my word metre, don't get too excited. I may have just reached 49500 words but I'm about 4000 words off finishing! At least I hope it doesn't get longer than that!!! 

Will keep you updated!

HELP - Three Days?

No... I haven't given myself the totally insane and unrealistic deadline of three days to finish WWMM.

I've come to a point in my mss where I want to show how much it's possible to achieve - i.e. making someone fall madly in love with you - in three days. 

So far I have a lame list. 

In three days you could fly round the world and back again. You could drive across this vast country of Australia. You could lose three kilos on that horrid cabbage soup diet. 

But I think I seriously need help?! Call me picky but I want a more creative list than this. So, if any of you have any mind-boggling things one can achieve/get up to in three days, please comment NOW!!

I'll love ya forever...

Looking back on 2008...

Okay...so I know I'm a little early but as I'm having a baby four weeks from today, thought I may be a little busy for pondering towards the end of the year. 

At the beginning of 2008, I wrote a list of the things (writing/reading-wise) I wanted to achieve this year. Here tis:

1)      Want to learn more about the craft of writing category romance – focusing heavily on Goal, Motivation and Conflict and enhancing Emotion between characters. To do this, I plan on spending some time doing writing exercises from Kate Walker’s 12-point Guide To Writing Romance and to study more and more about GMC before I start my next draft.  X

2)      Read at least one Classic (you know, Jane Eyre, Frankenstein, the like…) per month. I’m an English teacher by trade and I think my reading in these areas is severely lacking. People expect me to know this stuff and I don’t! – this was gonna be a resolution but as I’m not making any others, it’ll do as a goal. X

3)      Write at least two more drafts of category novels. I’ve got the basic seeds of these in my head but will be praying for inspiration to fill in the gaps. $

4)      Polish up my 2007  NaNo novel and send it off to Mills and Boon. X

5)      Enter loads of contests and hopefully final again in some. $

6)      Hopefully attend the 2008 RWA conference in Melbourne! $

The ones with an X next to them, I sadly failed. 

I'm hoping to do the craft book thing better in the early part of 2009 when I may not be writing quite as much due to bringing up baby! I've read a few classics this year but they took so long in comparison to other things and let's face it, with two young boys, time was tight in my world. I'll try for another few in 2009. The reason I didn't send off my NaNo novel was that I didn't get any feedback for it in the IHeart Presents Instant Seduction contest early in the year and figured it wasn't really what Mod Heat were looking for. Perhaps in 2009, I'll see if I can revise it for another more suitable line?!

I did however write a one full category length novel (NBLSB) and have almost finished WWMM. I'm hoping this will be done by the end of 2009 - at least the first draft. I also began another category length novel and also one which is probably more ST. These began in June - my diabolical writing month - and were abandoned soon after, but I'll definately be going back to one of them in 2009.

I entered contests and finalled in two!!! 

And... as you know... I did attend the RWA conference in Melbourne. 

So... did you have goals for 2008 - things you'd like to achieve and have control over - and how'd you go?

Stay tuned for a post about my 2009 goals....

Meet my ''new'' heroine!

Okay... she's not really new as I'm 32000 words into the mss but thanks to help from you lovely people, I've found new inspiration for her and I'm hoping it INSPIRE me to great things!

Here she is:

And again...

She's a serious gal (who has a fun side brought out by the hero) and she's on a mission... a mission my hero is set to halt!!! She's adopted and feels like she's been the misfit wherever she's been, but the hero's about to show her just how wrong she is!

Thanks so much to Eleni for giving me Eve Miles!!

Heroes and Heroines...

Let's face it... they are the essence of a romance novel, are they not? Well, I'm having a little casting issue with mine. 

I thought I had these characters in my head before I began writing, but when I got stuck in the middle a few days ago, I started wondering if I had the heroine all wrong. She was blonde and rather a perfect package when I really wanted her to be a contrast to her two perfect, blonde sisters and to have a few hang-ups about her figure and looks. So, I've ditched the image I did have, see pic here and am looking for a heroine with a little more zest! Not even sure that's the right word. 

I want a short brunette with attitude written all over her face and would LOVE your help if possible. I thought about the actress who plays the role of Beth in The Bill, but the only real image I could find of her was in a police uniform and it just didn't do it for me. Thought about Katie Holmes but she wasn't right either... so please, please... can anyone out there, help me find my fiesty heroine. I think if I have her pegged, the writing of her character will be easier - at least I'm clinging to hopes that's the case :)

This is her bad boy hero and I think you'll all agree, he's simply perfect!

Pulling teeth...

I know it's cliched, but writing at the moment is like pulling teeth. Excrutiatingly painful... only difference is I guess, I have no desire to have my pearly whites evicted from my mouth but I have a real desire to get the words down on the page just right. 

I've hit the very middle of WWMM and where I can usually knock out 1000 words (ones I'm reasonably happy with) in an hour, I'm struggling to make 100. And, I'm really questioning their quality. I'm trying to remember Nora Roberts mantra, ''You can correct a bad page, but... you can't correct a blank one!'' But it's tough. I want them all to be perfect first time round. :) 

I'm not sure if my bump in the mss is due to the fact:

a) I've been away from it for such a long time or

b) I'm just not good at writing middles or 

c) I so want this mss to be the one that hits the mark that I'm losing it.

To be honest, I find the middle section of a novel the worst part. Beginnings are easy for me (as I know they are for many others) and the endings aren't too horrendous either, but middles always drag me down. I always go through a period of self-doubt somewhere between 20000 and 40000 words. There's so much I want to put in there, so much emotion I want to get across, but it never seems to come out on the page the way I want it.

So... anyone else in the same predicament? Have you any tips for getting through it? What parts of the novel do you find the hardest?? 

Back to Alphie...

After an extended break from actually writing (was revising and then trying to holiday with my family), I finally threw myself back into the current wip tonight. I've been soooooooooo distracted of late by the Internet (reading emails from fabulous writing buddies, surfing blogs of fabulous writing buddies, etc) that if I give myself an hour to write, it's always diluted with distractions. So tonight, I decided to dig out my faithful Alphasmart again and give it another go. 

I wrote much of one of my novels on this magnificent writing tool, but had all but abandoned it recently. Think I didn't like the idea of not being able to check my word count on a very regular (like every five minutes) basis. 

Tonight I wrote 930 words on Alphie and then added a fair few more when I transferred the work to my computer. And, I'm happy to announce I've finally stormed over the half-way mark on this mss. 

My aim - and I'm putting it out there for all of you to check up on me and push me towards it - is to have the rough draft of this mss finished by the end of October. This means writing about 1000 words a day, which should be reasonable if I don't mind forgoing some sleep :) 

Anyway... speaking of said sleep, I'm off to (hopefully) achieve some.  

Till next time... Happy Writing!